Caregiver’s Guide to Social Media and Youth Mental Health

If you have ever tried to take a phone out of a teenager’s hand, yeah good luck with that. Look around, screens light up every room, inside and outside, from kitchen tables to the backseats of cars to restaurants. Everyone seems glued to their phones.

Teens sitting together aren’t saying a word to each other. One might have one thumb swapping TikTok videos while the other, sitting right next to him, is texting in group chats.

Social media has become the public square, the lunchroom, and the afterschool hangout, all squeezed into a pocket-sized rectangle.

Social media can surprise you with moments of joy. Laughing at an inside joke, showing off a new art skill, or finding a friend who just “gets” your taste in music can be lots of fun. However, it can serve up plenty of headaches, too.

Kids run into tricky situations that never existed when you were in middle school, and they may not want to talk about it with the adults in their lives.

Most teens use social media apps because that is where their friends gather. That is not an exaggeration—research shows that 95 percent of thirteen to seventeen-year-olds use social media, and often they use more than one app.

Friends swap memes, share TikToks, and chat late at night. For a kid who feels left out at school, online spaces can become their first “real” group where they feel known and accepted.

A website can feel less intimidating than a crowded cafeteria, and kids who struggle off-line can become leaders, jokesters, or artists when they are online, surrounded by others who like what they post.

The Bright Side of Social Media

Before talking about the tough stuff, do not forget the internet gives kids ways to grow that barely existed a decade ago. Social media can teach kids about everything from math tricks to skateboard repairs. Teens discover new books, cheer for world changers, and learn about cultures outside their own school hallways.

For some, social media feels safer for self-expression. A shy student might join a fan art group or leave encouraging comments on a friend’s poetry instead of waiting for the right moment in person. For kids who are minorities—by race, gender, or identity—these spaces can offer the relief that comes from finally meeting people who share their story.

Social media can be where teens launch fundraisers, learn how to organize a protest, or educate themselves about science, art, history, and global events. Teens with rare interests can finally see they are not alone. TikTok challenges might be silly, but sometimes they get kids moving, learning, and laughing together. These positives matter. For some young people, the community and creativity found online are powerful.

The Not-So-Bright Side

However, social media is not a fair-weather friend. Problems can pile up quickly. If your child is using social media for three hours or more every day—and many do—they are twice as likely to show symptoms of anxiety or depression. That is not just a warning label; it is backed by real research.

These apps are built to keep kids looking at their screens as long as possible. If you have ever tried to put your own phone down “just for one minute”—only to realize thirty minutes is gone—you know how this goes.

Scrolling through endless pictures and videos is like attending a party where everyone shows off only the best version of themselves. Teens can start to believe everyone else has it perfect: the perfect skin, friends, grades, relationships, or summer vacations.

Social media does what no lunch table ever could: it puts all those comparisons, all those “best of” moments, in front of your child 24/7. When a teen starts to think they never measure up, self-esteem can crash.

It does not help that every swipe and sound is designed to pull your teen right back in. Apps light up with colors and buzz with alerts, always recommending one more thing to watch or read. This is by design. Tech companies want to keep everyone scrolling.

Checklist for Signs of Overload?

If you want to know whether social media is becoming too much for your child, here are some questions to ask yourself—and your teen. Do not just check the list and put it away. Try using these ideas to spark real conversations at home.

1. Have you made a family agreement about social media use?

Setting clear, agreed-upon rules about phones and computers removes the guesswork. This does not have to be a fifty-page legal contract. A simple list, agreed on by parents and kids, can help.

How much daily screen time is okay? Are there times (like dinner or bedtime) when devices should be elsewhere? What happens if someone breaks a rule? Make it a shared project, not a surprise announcement—kids are more likely to respect rules they help build.

2. How much time does your child spend online? Can they actually pause when you ask?

The real question is not just about tallying hours. The crucial question is, can my child step away from the screen without stress or argument.

Is quitting in the middle of a video like stopping a movie halfway through the best scene? Or can they easily leave their phone to do something else?

Watch for resistance, frustration, or flat refusals—those are important clues.

3. Do you have access to passwords, and are parental controls set?

Safety online looks different than it does in the outside world. Make sure you can see your child’s accounts and settings.

Do you know their passwords? Are privacy settings locked so strangers cannot chat with them or see personal photos? Do devices filter out adult content or track screen time?

It is not about spying; it is about having a plan for emergencies and keeping your child safe from digital risks.

4. Does your child look happy or upset while on social media? Have you asked them how they feel about using it?

Take a pulse on their mood. You know your kid best. If they seem tense or annoyed, or if they look like they are in a deep tunnel even while scrolling, ask how things are going. Skip the lecture and ask simple, gentle questions.

Instead of “Why are you always on that phone?”, try “What was fun or not so fun online today?” or “Is there anything happening on social media that is bugging you?” Open the door, then listen.

5. Has your child seemed more upset or irritable lately?

Mood swings seem normal for teenagers, yet if your child goes from chill to angry or sad after looking at their phone, do not ignore it. Lately, have you noticed your child being more on edge, lashing out, or acting down after coming off a screen?

Consider tracking mood patterns and linking them to social media time. Sometimes it is as simple as asking, “Did something online make you feel this way?”

6. Have you caught your child talking down about themselves or how they look?

Negative self-talk may pop up as “I look terrible,” “Nobody likes me,” or “I am such a loser.” Social media creates a powerful mirror, and not always a flattering one. If your child’s self-talk has changed, especially right after scrolling, that is a sign to step in with support and encouragement.

7. Does your child always want the newest trend just to fit in?

Kids share the next big thing online, from shoes to slang. If your child is always talking about products or looks “everyone else” has, or if their attitude tanks when they cannot keep up, social pressure may be taking over. Sometimes it feels like you are constantly shopping just to keep up with an invisible pack.

8. Are you leading by example?

Kids watch what you do, not just what you say. Are you checking your own phone at dinner? Is the TV on, even during conversations? Model what you want: device-free meals, time off from screens, and attention when someone speaks. Kids take these cues to heart.

Why Kids Struggle to Log Off

Phones and tablets are designed to be irresistible. Imagine a bowl of candy on the table that fills itself every few minutes with new, brighter flavors. Kids are drawn back to check what they missed, leading to fights over screen time ending.

A third of girls age eleven to fifteen say they feel addicted. More than half of all teens say they could not give up social media even if they wanted to. Big tech knows how to keep eyes glued to the screen.

Algorithms make sure your child gets fresh entertainment and constant suggestions, much like an endless buffet. For a teen, one video leads to the next, and before they know it, an hour is gone. Adults fall for it too, so do not feel bad if this sounds familiar.

Peer Culture: The New Class on What is “Cool”

Years ago, peer pressure came from classmates and friends at school. Now, it is broadcast worldwide. Teens see kids wearing a certain hoodie or using a catchphrase and feel everyone else must be doing it, too.

Social media teaches “acceptable” clothing, hobbies, humor, and how to use slang. No lesson plan needed. When trends shift, kids notice. What mattered a week ago is old news today.

Kids also start forming what scientists call parasocial relationships. Remember when you felt like you “knew” a TV character? This is like that, times ten. Teens feel real attachment to influencers, YouTubers, and celebrities.

These digital relationships shape how they talk, act, and set goals. Some even share problems or private thoughts with online creators who seem “safe.” This can be helpful when the role model is positive, however risky if the influencer is reckless, misleading, or mean.

Body Image: The Online Funhouse Mirror

Social media creates a hall of mirrors, where the reflection rarely matches reality. Nearly half of teens aged thirteen to seventeen say social media leaves them feeling worse about how they look.

Every image is filtered, retouched, or shot at the perfect angle. The standard is always “better.”

Teens see flaw-free skin, sparkling vacations, and athletic builds, then check their own reflection and feel they lost before they started.

Girls and boys both feel the sting. Expectations for appearance, fitness, and popularity can drive low self-esteem or even eating disorders.

If your child criticizes their body, hides from mirrors, or fixates on appearance, step in for a chat. Make sure voices at home sound a lot kinder than those they scroll past online.

Sleep Takes a Hit

Nothing good happens to a tired teenager. However, many teens sneak their phones into bed after nine o’clock. Notifications ping or buzz whenever friends post or messages arrive. Each interruption feels urgent.

Screens emit light that messes with a person’s natural sleep-wake cycle. Instead of resting, teens stay mentally alert. Tiredness rolls over into the next morning, making routine tasks and school feel much harder. Missing sleep hurts mood, school performance, and even weakens immune systems.

If you notice your child yawning a lot, napping more often, or dragging themselves out of bed, check if the phone is the new bedside companion. Charging devices outside the bedroom and turning off notifications during sleep hours can work wonders.

Cyberbullying: Trouble Follows Home

When adults hear bullying, they may think of playground shoves or mean jokes at lunch. The internet has taken that and poured fuel on it. Cyberbullying happens anytime someone uses technology to hurt, threaten, or embarrass another person.

Comments follow kids from phones to laptops, from home to school and back. Sixty-four percent of teens report seeing hate-filled content online.

Cyberbullying is tough to escape because the screen is always with your child. Unlike a physical note that can be thrown away, mean messages stick around and can spread fast. The virtual crowd can feel bigger and scarier, and teens worry telling an adult will make things worse or lead to losing their online privileges.

When to Ask for Extra Help

It is not easy to know when what is normal teen moodiness crosses the line into something more serious. Here are signals that a bit more help could make a world of difference:

• Sudden increase in anxiety, sadness, or worry without a clear reason
• Ongoing trouble sleeping, lots of nightmares, or not wanting to get up at all
• School assignments fall off the radar or grades drop fast
• Pulling away from usual friends, skipping activities, or hiding in their room more often
• Criticizing themselves or talking badly about how they look, especially after using social media
• Big fights or melting down every time you ask for a device or set a limit

Therapists and social workers have seen these signs before. They know which questions to ask and what support looks like for families dealing with screen stress.

Therapy styles such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) show kids how to notice negative thoughts, ask if they are true, and swap them for better ones.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches teens “balancing acts” for tough emotions, plus skills for tolerating stress and making smarter choices.

Therapists walk you and your child through what is going on, and it is not all about talking. A lot of therapy for social media stress involves real-world practice. Your child might practice ignoring online drama, shutting down apps ahead of bedtime, or responding calmly to mean messages.

With guidance, kids gain confidence that they can control their habits and feelings—even when screens seem overwhelming.

Practical Tips for Caregivers

Helping your child with social media can feel like swimming upstream, however you do not have to go it alone. Here are some practical ideas to test at home:

Create a Tech-Free Zone or Time: Make the kitchen table, bedrooms, or an hour each evening screen-free zones for everyone, adults included. Use the time for real conversation, board games, or getting outside. These moments give everyone a break and set boundaries kids can rely on.

Hold Regular “Check-In” Chats: Rather than springing big chats when tempers flare, set up weekly five-minute check-ins. Ask gentle questions about what feels good or tough online. Make it routine, like brushing teeth, so kids expect and accept it.

Share Your Experiences: Tell your kids about your own online wins and fails. Did you ever waste time on an app or regret a post? These stories bring you down to earth and help teens feel less alone.

Encourage Face-to-Face Hangouts: Offer rides, open your home to friends, or sign kids up for after-school clubs. Building real-world relationships makes online drama feel less critical.

Collaborate on Limits: Work with your child to agree on rules about time and place. Use phone settings to limit time or set automatic downtimes for apps. When rules are made together, they stick longer.

Praise “Logging Off” Behavior: Notice when your child stops scrolling and joins the family or takes a break without a fight. Highlight these actions as wins—your encouragement has more power than an app notification.

Fight Perfection Pressure: Remind your child that photos are filtered, videos are edited, and even influencers have bad days. Your child needs to know that no one lives a highlight reel 24/7.

Stay Informed: Social media shifts quickly. Ask your child to teach you what is new, or read short articles online. When you are curious, your child will be more likely to come to you when problems come up.

The Strength of Support

Tackling social media overload works best when families collaborate. It is not about being perfect parents or creating tech-free homes forever. Instead, it is about staying connected, communicating, and spotting hidden struggles early.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes it is the bravest thing a parent or child can do. When you partner with a therapist, a social worker, or even another parent who has lived through the same challenges, you show your child that strong families solve tough problems together.

Your child might not need to quit social media for good. Instead, focus on building skills to survive and even thrive online. Life’s big moments, worries, victories, and setbacks are now shared on screens as much as sidewalks. The key is for parents and kids to talk, ask questions, set healthy boundaries, and stay close—even when digital life tries to pull them apart.

Keep the conversation open, check in, and offer kindness to yourself and your child. In a world that makes it easy to feel judged by likes and comments, your partnership is what matters most.

“Eyas” is defined as a young hawk in the developmental stage of learning to fly. At Eyas Landing, it’s not only
about the flight, but also the landing. “As our clients succeed in therapy, they succeed in every aspect of their daily life.”- Dr. Laura Mraz, OTD, OTR/L Founder of Eyas Landing since 2007

 

Eyas Landing is just one part of your child’s journey! Our sister companies, Blue Bird Day and Merlin Day Academy, work together to support your child as they grow. Blue Bird Day, our therapeutic preschool and kindergarten program, is an intensive rotational therapeutic program designed to provide children ages 2-7 with the tools they need to succeed in a classroom environment. Merlin Day Academy— accredited by the Illinois State Board of Education—provides special education and multi-disciplinary therapy for children ages 6-14 with neuro-diverse learning needs.