It can be daunting to speak to your child about their sibling’s diagnosis. After all, what is the best and right way to explain such a complex thing as a medical diagnosis? For those who clicked on this blog post to find the “answer,” well I want to apologize because there is not one here. I invite you now to take a deep breath and process that in your mind and heart for a moment. This blog does not contain a complete lesson plan to teach a child about something so personal and potentially life altering. If only it was that easy. Instead, this blog is brimming with ideas, perspectives, and love for those of all abilities.

The sole purpose of a diagnosis is to guide medical professionals in their pursuit to provide the best treatment delivery, plan of care, and evidenced based practices. However, they only get us so far. There are so many factors we need to consider when deciding a plan of care. What are the child’s interests? What environments do they visit? Who is in their support system? And the list goes on and on. There is an immeasurable number of ways a person is defined; a diagnosis is just one piece of the puzzle. Truthfully, during team meetings, a diagnosis is rarely mentioned. Instead, we talk about a child’s strengths, their weaknesses, their accomplishments, their goals, the activities they enjoy and the ones they struggle with, and always the moments that made us smile. I suggest you do the same when discussing your child with their siblings.

This first tip cannot be stressed enough. People are capable of growing and changing. We work in the therapeutic realm because we truly and fiercely believe that. Adding the word “yet” to your vocabulary is the first favor you will do for yourself. Your brother isn’t walking yet. Your cousin doesn’t communicate clearly yet. Your sister isn’t regulated yet. This growth mindset will radiate to others when you place it front and center.

With that, the dialog must stay open and ongoing. Your child will ask questions about their sibling. Encourage those questions, praise them, exaggerate the importance of staying curious and continuing to learn. Asking questions will help allow them to process their sibling’s diagnosis and learn how to best support their family member. Remember, you do not have to be the only one answering their questions. Allow their sibling to answer some of those questions, as this will help improve their ability to communicate their own identity and needs. If this isn’t possible yet, model this skill. Include the whole family in the conversation and show them how to communicate their diagnosis and needs. Having an open conversation is a wonderful way to build a positive and supportive perspective about differences.